Do Work Son
Go Kart Champion
I've had my iPhone 5s[exy] for a week now and after a Blackberry and two Android phones I feel this to be the best purchase I've ever made. I can honestly say that this phone has been the second greatest improvement to my life behind discovering what an erection is for.
Unboxing:
The phone was shipped to my office and after breaking the seal I've grown an inch and my pants are noticeably tighter in the crotch area. I was promoted twice this week because "there's just something about this guy" and two of my coworkers have suggested affairs. When I put the box in a desk drawer I found a winning lottery ticket and a packet of strawberry PopTarts. Those are my favorite.
The look and feel:
There is no phone that comes close. Ever sat in a Bugatti? Of course you haven't but this thing is the Bugatti of phones. "Aggressively understated" is what I'd call it. It can stand out while blending in and blend in while standing out. It's a chameleon wielding a chainsaw and an electric guitar. I was at an art exhibit the other day bidding on a Cézanne and set my phone down on a small table, it became the hit the show.
The user interface:
iOS 7 is, to be brief, the single greatest culmination of software code ever written. Every dance of your finger is like a conductor's baton weaving a tapestry of interface perfection. The little animations as app icons zoom this way and that are hypnotically beautiful.
The performance:
The camera is a work of art, photographs look so real you'd think the subject is literally sitting on the screen but that's just the marvelous Retina display fooling our eyes. I drove home the other day simply by watching the screen through the camera and my driving has improved by at least 12%. The 64 bit A7 processor is so powerful that I've been contacted by various cloud computing proprietors for assistance in offloading their heaviest data loads. My phone is actually powering this server as you read, if it's running slow it's because NASA needs help testing a new computer model of galaxy formation. I apologize in advance.
Unboxing:
The phone was shipped to my office and after breaking the seal I've grown an inch and my pants are noticeably tighter in the crotch area. I was promoted twice this week because "there's just something about this guy" and two of my coworkers have suggested affairs. When I put the box in a desk drawer I found a winning lottery ticket and a packet of strawberry PopTarts. Those are my favorite.
The look and feel:
There is no phone that comes close. Ever sat in a Bugatti? Of course you haven't but this thing is the Bugatti of phones. "Aggressively understated" is what I'd call it. It can stand out while blending in and blend in while standing out. It's a chameleon wielding a chainsaw and an electric guitar. I was at an art exhibit the other day bidding on a Cézanne and set my phone down on a small table, it became the hit the show.
The user interface:
iOS 7 is, to be brief, the single greatest culmination of software code ever written. Every dance of your finger is like a conductor's baton weaving a tapestry of interface perfection. The little animations as app icons zoom this way and that are hypnotically beautiful.
The performance:
The camera is a work of art, photographs look so real you'd think the subject is literally sitting on the screen but that's just the marvelous Retina display fooling our eyes. I drove home the other day simply by watching the screen through the camera and my driving has improved by at least 12%. The 64 bit A7 processor is so powerful that I've been contacted by various cloud computing proprietors for assistance in offloading their heaviest data loads. My phone is actually powering this server as you read, if it's running slow it's because NASA needs help testing a new computer model of galaxy formation. I apologize in advance.
