I don't know anymore. I just want to run away and not look back. For some reason it's been hitting me hard this past week. I don't know if it's because I haven't been so busy at work since the project is over or what. You guys seem to be the only ones I can talk to.
My best friend pretty much changed our relationship. He wasn't even there for me when my ex broke up with me. My other friends were. He didn't want to deal with my bullshit. Some friend, right? He texted me yesterday to see how I'm doing, but the reality is doesn't want to hear how I'm actually doing. If I told him how I'm fucking sobbing over this he'd stop talking to me again.
The other day one of my friends sent a photo of my ex and me together to our group chat via phone. I said what the fuck and he goes "what I thought you look good in that pic".
I just feel like I'm losing everybody and I've never felt so alone before. I didn't even know it was possible to feel alone when my friends and family are there.
I feel like I've lost motivation to do anything. Literally anything. I have a package that I ordered that I haven't opened up yet. I have a video game I ordered WEEKS ago that I haven't opened up yet.
I tried to give my mom the $350 it cost her when I took my sister's appointment for the psychiatrist about two months ago, and she ripped up the check. I don't want her in debt because of me. She's already in 5k of debt from my sister's sessions.